Showing posts with label curhat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label curhat. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Recovered
A day after the result, we both checked in dekat Le Meridien KL.
Memang dah book sebelum result keluar pon and we are prepared to whatever the result is going to be.
I did cry every now and then after the result came out for a few days.
My CD 1 came 2 days after the BETA test.
Completed 29 days cycle.
Super heavy flow.
My emotions was running up and down during the menstrual days.
But the soonest I can start praying, I prayed hard.
I cried to Him the Almighty.
Mintak diberikan kekuatan untuk melalui semua ni dgn tenang.
And He granted that.
Alhamdulillah.
At first I got to lie to people telling that I am OK while I am not OK.
I paksakan jugak diri ini untuk menjadi kuat.
The easiest things to do besides praying is keep urself busy.
So I continued doing my another baby project.
Siapkan paperwork semua and Alhamdulillah soon akan masuk production.
Then last 2 weeks, I have a business trip to Singapore (again) for 2 days 1 nite.
Heret DH sekali.
We took the trip as a way to release my stress.
Tapi disebabkan exchange rate melampau sgt sampai 3.06, I end up didn't do any shopping.
So kami jenjalan sahaja keliling Singapore tu.
Lepak hotel and spent time together.
And today I am on my CD 5.
29 days cycle lagi bulan ni.
Makan pon macam tak control je lps BETA test tu.
Lps abis cycle ni la kot baru nak control balik.
Supplement pon continue asid folic and metformin sahaja.
Vit D kalau igt baru amik.
Fish oil pon sama.
Multivitamin pon sama.
Saja nak rehatkan badan kejap.
Next month nak ke Penang.
January nak ke Vietnam.
Maybe after that la kot baru decide bila nak FET.
Friday, June 19, 2015
#9 Road to ICSI - AF is here!
As expected, got my AF today!
Called KL Fert just now to make appointment with Dr. T tomorrow.
For sure besok kena bebel because the other day buat sugar blood test, I got pre-diabetic results.
Tapi semlm 1st day puasa try jugak buat home test sugar checking and the result is 6.9mml.
Hopefully the result will keep going down sbb I dah sehabis baik dah control my sugar intake for the past 1 month.
Besok re-assessment day.
Wahai telur-telur ku, keluarlah dengan jayanya!
Really hope the right ovary punye telur dah boleh nampak sbb masa laps ritu Dr. Ng dah betulkan kedudukan right ovary tu.
Then Dr. T pon nak tgk video my laps procedure ari tu.
Uii seram uii!
And most likely I am required to pay my ICSI deposit by tomorrow.
Semoga Allah permudahkan segala2nya besok.
Seriyes I setiap kali nak g jumpa Dr, setiap kali tu nervous breakdown.
Phobia nak dgr bad news because so far there is really no good news we received ever since we started back the treatment.
But somehow, Alhamdulillah we both managed to encounter those obstacles easily.
Memang masa mula2 dpt news, I will surely broke into tears sbb 1 after another kan but DH really has taught me to be come and be positive all the way thru.
Sekarang ni what I did to make myself to stay positive at all time is by reading all the success IVF/ICSI stories thru google.
Dari situ saya cari kekuatan untuk meneruskan my ICSI journey.
In fact dr IG pon saya dah dpt kawan TTC from Australia !
Semoga Allah akan terus menerus memberikan saya kekuatan untuk melalui perjalanan ini till succeed!
Called KL Fert just now to make appointment with Dr. T tomorrow.
For sure besok kena bebel because the other day buat sugar blood test, I got pre-diabetic results.
Tapi semlm 1st day puasa try jugak buat home test sugar checking and the result is 6.9mml.
Hopefully the result will keep going down sbb I dah sehabis baik dah control my sugar intake for the past 1 month.
Besok re-assessment day.
Wahai telur-telur ku, keluarlah dengan jayanya!
Really hope the right ovary punye telur dah boleh nampak sbb masa laps ritu Dr. Ng dah betulkan kedudukan right ovary tu.
Then Dr. T pon nak tgk video my laps procedure ari tu.
Uii seram uii!
And most likely I am required to pay my ICSI deposit by tomorrow.
Semoga Allah permudahkan segala2nya besok.
Seriyes I setiap kali nak g jumpa Dr, setiap kali tu nervous breakdown.
Phobia nak dgr bad news because so far there is really no good news we received ever since we started back the treatment.
But somehow, Alhamdulillah we both managed to encounter those obstacles easily.
Memang masa mula2 dpt news, I will surely broke into tears sbb 1 after another kan but DH really has taught me to be come and be positive all the way thru.
Sekarang ni what I did to make myself to stay positive at all time is by reading all the success IVF/ICSI stories thru google.
Dari situ saya cari kekuatan untuk meneruskan my ICSI journey.
In fact dr IG pon saya dah dpt kawan TTC from Australia !
Semoga Allah akan terus menerus memberikan saya kekuatan untuk melalui perjalanan ini till succeed!
Thursday, April 16, 2015
#4 Road to ICSI - Telling people about ur IVF journey..
To some people, spreading the news about you and ur DH need IVF/ICSI just to get a baby is humiliating.
Eventually to them, others will have the thought that either one of u is having infertility problems.
Well for me, I want to take my TTC stories to another level.
To educate people out there that it is not our fault if we can't get the child of our own.
It is all about rezeki dari Allah SWT.
I want people out there to know that we both have tried all possible ways in order to get 1 child.
I don't want them to just assumed we both did nothing.
Besides, I know I am surrounded with good friends and families who always pray the best for me.
So I want them to pray for both of us on this IVF/ICSI journey.
Mana tau berkat doa families and kawan2 tu semua Allah SWT makbulkan.
We never know.
I know I am not ashamed for not being able to conceive on our own.
Itu semua ujian dari Allah SWT yang menunjukkan Allah SWT tu sayangkan kami berdua.
Being positive is all that I want to do now.
Keeping all the positive vibes around me.
I broke the news to my mom and sister.
DH broke the news to my SILs.
Only parents in law have no clue about it.
All the while pon they never make noise of it.
They always said rezeki tak sampai lagi.
But we will somehow tell them as well.
Nak mintak mereka doakan jugak.
The funny part, my mom, sister and SILs suruh buat kembar!
Hey igt senang nak main buat2?
So we need to explain to them on how the procedure.
Mintak diaorg doakan jugak.
Rasa bersyukur sangat family terdekat semuanya memahami and gave the support that we need.
Eventually to them, others will have the thought that either one of u is having infertility problems.
Well for me, I want to take my TTC stories to another level.
To educate people out there that it is not our fault if we can't get the child of our own.
It is all about rezeki dari Allah SWT.
I want people out there to know that we both have tried all possible ways in order to get 1 child.
I don't want them to just assumed we both did nothing.
Besides, I know I am surrounded with good friends and families who always pray the best for me.
So I want them to pray for both of us on this IVF/ICSI journey.
Mana tau berkat doa families and kawan2 tu semua Allah SWT makbulkan.
We never know.
I know I am not ashamed for not being able to conceive on our own.
Itu semua ujian dari Allah SWT yang menunjukkan Allah SWT tu sayangkan kami berdua.
Being positive is all that I want to do now.
Keeping all the positive vibes around me.
I broke the news to my mom and sister.
DH broke the news to my SILs.
Only parents in law have no clue about it.
All the while pon they never make noise of it.
They always said rezeki tak sampai lagi.
But we will somehow tell them as well.
Nak mintak mereka doakan jugak.
The funny part, my mom, sister and SILs suruh buat kembar!
Hey igt senang nak main buat2?
So we need to explain to them on how the procedure.
Mintak diaorg doakan jugak.
Rasa bersyukur sangat family terdekat semuanya memahami and gave the support that we need.
Kalau korang pulak macamana? U tell others or just keep it to yourself?
Monday, July 21, 2014
Will I have the chance?
Bila baca good news dr some of the TTCians yg dah berjaya conceived this month, I started to think will I have the same chance as well?
Knowing that I have tried many things in order to conceive for the past 5 years lagi membuatkan I tertanya-tanya.. will I be able to go thru the experience of becoming a mother to my own child?
I have a friend who recently adopt a baby boy.
She is a very good friend of mine.
We've been friends since we were in form 1.
Memang dari skolah lagi she only had her period like 3 - 5 times a year.
Her first marriage doesn't work for her.
Married for like a year then divorced.
Then on 2010, she got married to another guy who is much much older than her with 3 kids.
Since then she tried to get herself conceived.
She was lucky this time as the hubby is super rich!
So money wasn't an issue for them.
She tried IUI. Failed.
Went for IVF. Failed.
Then she had her Ovarian Drilling since she is not producing eggs.
Tried another IVF. Failed.
She gave up.
She told me she is adopting a baby boy.
And now, the baby is with her.
She is now happy with her new life.
So, me?
Ada rasa nak gave up but deep down inside, I still putting hopes.
I'll give myself till next year kot.
Then will consider to adopt.
Perhaps.
Knowing that I have tried many things in order to conceive for the past 5 years lagi membuatkan I tertanya-tanya.. will I be able to go thru the experience of becoming a mother to my own child?
I have a friend who recently adopt a baby boy.
She is a very good friend of mine.
We've been friends since we were in form 1.
Memang dari skolah lagi she only had her period like 3 - 5 times a year.
Her first marriage doesn't work for her.
Married for like a year then divorced.
Then on 2010, she got married to another guy who is much much older than her with 3 kids.
Since then she tried to get herself conceived.
She was lucky this time as the hubby is super rich!
So money wasn't an issue for them.
She tried IUI. Failed.
Went for IVF. Failed.
Then she had her Ovarian Drilling since she is not producing eggs.
Tried another IVF. Failed.
She gave up.
She told me she is adopting a baby boy.
And now, the baby is with her.
She is now happy with her new life.
So, me?
Ada rasa nak gave up but deep down inside, I still putting hopes.
I'll give myself till next year kot.
Then will consider to adopt.
Perhaps.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
I am 34.
Yes 34.
Not young anymore. *sob*sob
Living my life with wonderful hubby although no child for more than 5 years now.
And still trying.
Very hard.
At times, ada jgk rasa nak quit and dont wanna think bout it too much.
Tapi tak ley aa.
So what I did to keep myself tight with all the positive vibes?
BFP Stories.
Yes, I read those success stories.
Mana yg boleh I follow, I'll try to do it.
Key point, don't give up and keep on praying.
Anyways,
I celebrated my 34th birthday last 12th June.
At first, I thought it is just a plain birthday celebration.
Went off for dinner with DH at Saisaki Wisma UOA 11 on bday eve.
Later midnite, my sis and families came over to my place (which 1 floor above theirs) with both of my nieces with cake.
The next day, went to Pertama Complex with DH to claimed my birthday gift.
Like usual, no handbags or shoes allowed.
So I asked for another camera.
I am 1 happy bee!
Well the happiness doesn't ends there.
On last Saturday, I got pranked by my DH, families and my dear BFF.
They threw out a surprise birthday party for me!!
Which they have been planned for about a month!
And the worst part, I don't have a clue bout it!
I broke into tears the moments my DH brought me into the big huge karaoke room.
Such a great actor he is!
And the rest of the komplot!
Here some of the pic on the event day.
The best!
When u choose to be happy, happiness is what u get!
With or without child.
Syukur Ya Allah.
Not young anymore. *sob*sob
Living my life with wonderful hubby although no child for more than 5 years now.
And still trying.
Very hard.
At times, ada jgk rasa nak quit and dont wanna think bout it too much.
Tapi tak ley aa.
So what I did to keep myself tight with all the positive vibes?
BFP Stories.
Yes, I read those success stories.
Mana yg boleh I follow, I'll try to do it.
Key point, don't give up and keep on praying.
Anyways,
I celebrated my 34th birthday last 12th June.
At first, I thought it is just a plain birthday celebration.
Went off for dinner with DH at Saisaki Wisma UOA 11 on bday eve.
Later midnite, my sis and families came over to my place (which 1 floor above theirs) with both of my nieces with cake.
The next day, went to Pertama Complex with DH to claimed my birthday gift.
Like usual, no handbags or shoes allowed.
So I asked for another camera.
This time, GOPRO HERO3+ it is!!
1st pic using the phone apps.
Test amik pic rumah plak.
I am 1 happy bee!
Well the happiness doesn't ends there.
On last Saturday, I got pranked by my DH, families and my dear BFF.
They threw out a surprise birthday party for me!!
Which they have been planned for about a month!
And the worst part, I don't have a clue bout it!
I broke into tears the moments my DH brought me into the big huge karaoke room.
Such a great actor he is!
And the rest of the komplot!
Here some of the pic on the event day.
He took me out on that day. Tgk DH menyorok dekat belakang.
Paksa kazen dia drive. Mangkuk ni pon komplot jgk.
Ni DH buat muka tak bersalah.
Me with SILs and Nieces.
My only sister and BIL. BIL paid for the venue.
Thank u!
My BFFs. Seldom meet but always there whenever needed.
The best!
When u choose to be happy, happiness is what u get!
With or without child.
Syukur Ya Allah.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Bernasib baik kah aku?
Sometimes bila ada masa I ada jugak la bukak forum, group FB etc pesal TTCians ni.
Ada some posting bercerita tentang masalah being a TTCians dr sudut family and friends.
Masalah nak mengadap orang2 yg bermulut puaka ni.
Ada jgk orang2 itu termasuklah mak mertua, pak mertua, kakak / adik2 ipar etc.
Kira org yang terdekat dgn kita.
Mmg hancur luluh hati mereka2 yg meluahkan perasaan tu.
Sedih I baca sebab walaupun mereka senasib dgn saya being a TTCians, dugaan mereka lebih hebat dr saya.
Saya bersyukur, semua ahli keluarga kami amat memahami yg semua itu rezeki Allah yg belum tiba.
Baik my own family or my in laws.
Tak pernah mereka menghina, mengeji kami kerana tak ada anak selama 5 tahun berkahwin.
Malah, mereka tetap memberikan sokongan dan doa dlm apa saja usaha kami utk mendapatkan zuriat ni.
Namun saya tetap tidak menolak, ada jugak di kalangan sedara mara yg kdg2 bertanya bila nak dpt anak.
How I wish I can answer them tomorrow!
Tp yg paling membuatkan saya rasa lagi sedih, bila baca posting yg menceritakan tentang suami sendiri yg tak nak support!
Hell o!
Ajak g clinic taknak teman apatah lagi nak buat test sbb dia rasa dia tak de masalah dan masalah tu kat bini je.
Pastu, isteri suruh makan supplement pon tak nak sbb dia rasa dia tak de masalah jugak.
Dah kenapa?
Nak letak blame tu semua kat bini ke?
Nama pon suami isteri.. takkan usaha sebelah pihak je?
Katanya, tawakal pada Allah.
Yes, memang semua pon kita kena tawakal dan redha atas ketentuan Allah tp Allah tak melarang kita dari berusaha kan?
Dah berusaha baru kita tawakal.
Ini semua pon nak letak kat bahu isteri.
Tak kesian ke kat bini korang tu?
Bukan semua tu tanggungjawab laki jgk ke?
It takes 2 to tango.
I ni nak kata DH i tu baik sgt tu tak lah but dia mmg ikut je apa yg I suruh dia buat.
Kira macam I buat jambatan, dia lalu je atas jambatan tu.
Tak pe la dr dia tak nak buat kan.
Tak tau la I mcmana TTCians yg ada problem mcm tu nak hadap laki yg jenis mcm tu.
Kesian.
Bertimpa2 dugaan.
Ya Allah, permudahkanlah perjalanan kami semua ini.
Ada some posting bercerita tentang masalah being a TTCians dr sudut family and friends.
Masalah nak mengadap orang2 yg bermulut puaka ni.
Ada jgk orang2 itu termasuklah mak mertua, pak mertua, kakak / adik2 ipar etc.
Kira org yang terdekat dgn kita.
Mmg hancur luluh hati mereka2 yg meluahkan perasaan tu.
Sedih I baca sebab walaupun mereka senasib dgn saya being a TTCians, dugaan mereka lebih hebat dr saya.
Saya bersyukur, semua ahli keluarga kami amat memahami yg semua itu rezeki Allah yg belum tiba.
Baik my own family or my in laws.
Tak pernah mereka menghina, mengeji kami kerana tak ada anak selama 5 tahun berkahwin.
Malah, mereka tetap memberikan sokongan dan doa dlm apa saja usaha kami utk mendapatkan zuriat ni.
Namun saya tetap tidak menolak, ada jugak di kalangan sedara mara yg kdg2 bertanya bila nak dpt anak.
How I wish I can answer them tomorrow!
Tp yg paling membuatkan saya rasa lagi sedih, bila baca posting yg menceritakan tentang suami sendiri yg tak nak support!
Hell o!
Ajak g clinic taknak teman apatah lagi nak buat test sbb dia rasa dia tak de masalah dan masalah tu kat bini je.
Pastu, isteri suruh makan supplement pon tak nak sbb dia rasa dia tak de masalah jugak.
Dah kenapa?
Nak letak blame tu semua kat bini ke?
Nama pon suami isteri.. takkan usaha sebelah pihak je?
Katanya, tawakal pada Allah.
Yes, memang semua pon kita kena tawakal dan redha atas ketentuan Allah tp Allah tak melarang kita dari berusaha kan?
Dah berusaha baru kita tawakal.
Ini semua pon nak letak kat bahu isteri.
Tak kesian ke kat bini korang tu?
Bukan semua tu tanggungjawab laki jgk ke?
It takes 2 to tango.
I ni nak kata DH i tu baik sgt tu tak lah but dia mmg ikut je apa yg I suruh dia buat.
Kira macam I buat jambatan, dia lalu je atas jambatan tu.
Tak pe la dr dia tak nak buat kan.
Tak tau la I mcmana TTCians yg ada problem mcm tu nak hadap laki yg jenis mcm tu.
Kesian.
Bertimpa2 dugaan.
Ya Allah, permudahkanlah perjalanan kami semua ini.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Crash, boom, bang!
Macamana tajuk post, macam tu lah hati saya waktu received the blood test results.
Need I elaborate more?
It's BFN!
Sedih?
Yes. But kali ini lebih kuat.
I cried for only few minutes in the car.
Bila dipujuk oleh DH, I managed to set myself calm.
We had our discussion.
DH wants us to give a break before proceed with the 2nd IUI.
So this cycle break jap and continue March.
DH wanted us to improve on our weaknesses the other day.
Me to reduce the fibroid size and DH to improve his sperm counts.
Kendian DH pancing pulak to go for retail therapy.
And we bought this!
After dekat 10 tahun tak tukar katil.
Dr zaman sebelum kawin.
Time kawin pon beli katil baru utk letak rumah my in laws je.
So who knows can, dgn aura katil baru, we manage to conceive naturally lagi ke..
In Shaa Allah.
Semlm masuk kerja pon saya kuat.
And later in the evening ada spotting.
AF is on its way.
Today, AF muncul.
Bohong kalau ai cakap ai tak sedey..
But I have prepared myself, kalau tak jadi this time, I will redha and will keep on trying.
I have to be positive at all time.
I tak nak stress as stress pon boleh membantu fibroid utk membesar dgn jayanya.
Besides berdoa, ai do alot of readings.
Read psl rakan2 TTCians yg dah berjaya mendapatkan zuriat.
What they do, what they eat.. semua lah.
Mana yg i mampu, i ikut.
At least I know when it turns out BFN, i know that I have gave my best shot in trying rather then not trying at all.
Till then..
Thanks to my TTCians friends and friends in Whatsapp, IG, blog, FB yg telah mendoakan saya.
Saya pon berdoa agar semua yg senasib dgn saya dibagi peluang utk mendapatkan zuriat mereka jugak..
In shaa Allah...
BHCG test = RM 91.
Need I elaborate more?
It's BFN!
Sedih?
Yes. But kali ini lebih kuat.
I cried for only few minutes in the car.
Bila dipujuk oleh DH, I managed to set myself calm.
We had our discussion.
DH wants us to give a break before proceed with the 2nd IUI.
So this cycle break jap and continue March.
DH wanted us to improve on our weaknesses the other day.
Me to reduce the fibroid size and DH to improve his sperm counts.
Kendian DH pancing pulak to go for retail therapy.
And we bought this!
After dekat 10 tahun tak tukar katil.
Dr zaman sebelum kawin.
Time kawin pon beli katil baru utk letak rumah my in laws je.
So who knows can, dgn aura katil baru, we manage to conceive naturally lagi ke..
In Shaa Allah.
Semlm masuk kerja pon saya kuat.
And later in the evening ada spotting.
AF is on its way.
Today, AF muncul.
Bohong kalau ai cakap ai tak sedey..
But I have prepared myself, kalau tak jadi this time, I will redha and will keep on trying.
I have to be positive at all time.
I tak nak stress as stress pon boleh membantu fibroid utk membesar dgn jayanya.
Besides berdoa, ai do alot of readings.
Read psl rakan2 TTCians yg dah berjaya mendapatkan zuriat.
What they do, what they eat.. semua lah.
Mana yg i mampu, i ikut.
At least I know when it turns out BFN, i know that I have gave my best shot in trying rather then not trying at all.
Till then..
Thanks to my TTCians friends and friends in Whatsapp, IG, blog, FB yg telah mendoakan saya.
Saya pon berdoa agar semua yg senasib dgn saya dibagi peluang utk mendapatkan zuriat mereka jugak..
In shaa Allah...
BHCG test = RM 91.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Mulut Puaka.
A good friend of my mom, yg boleh dikatakan alim jgk, out of nowhere, bagi ai soklan mintak kena bunuh last Saturday.
Masa tuh ai tgh main dgn my niece yg 9 months old.
During my cousin's engagement lak tu.
She said, "Along bila pulak nak ada anak?"
Tersentap jap ai kat situ.
Sbb bukannya jarang jumpa dia pon kan.
Selalu jgk jumpa dia.
Tanpa pandang pon muka dia, ai replied, "Bila Tuhan nak bagi and aunty doakan la jgk spy Along cepat dpt anak."
And she left.
Masa tuh ai tgh main dgn my niece yg 9 months old.
During my cousin's engagement lak tu.
She said, "Along bila pulak nak ada anak?"
Tersentap jap ai kat situ.
Sbb bukannya jarang jumpa dia pon kan.
Selalu jgk jumpa dia.
Tanpa pandang pon muka dia, ai replied, "Bila Tuhan nak bagi and aunty doakan la jgk spy Along cepat dpt anak."
And she left.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Emosi di malam hari.
Malam tadi sebelum tido, ai tetiba emo.
Dalam linangan air mata, mintak maaf dekat DH.
Dia pon terkejut.
Mintak maaf sebab tak dpt nak kasi dia zuriat lagi.
And again, DH is so calm.
Dgn tenang, dia suruh ai jgn mengarut.
Dia percaya semua ni ada hikmah.
Allah tahu apa yang terbaik utk kami.
Dan dlm linangan air mata jugak la ai tido tak sedar diri.
Dalam linangan air mata, mintak maaf dekat DH.
Dia pon terkejut.
Mintak maaf sebab tak dpt nak kasi dia zuriat lagi.
And again, DH is so calm.
Dgn tenang, dia suruh ai jgn mengarut.
Dia percaya semua ni ada hikmah.
Allah tahu apa yang terbaik utk kami.
Dan dlm linangan air mata jugak la ai tido tak sedar diri.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Selamat Hari Raya TTCians!
Di kesempatan ini saya menyusun 10 jari untuk memohon ampun dan maaf seandainya tulisan2 saya di blog ini ada melukakan hati, terkasar bahasa.
Nampaknya tahun ni masih lagi beraya berdua.
Dan ai have to be strong to face the people I'm going to meet during this festive season.
Especially questions from the relatives yg jenis kepochi.
But Alhamdulillah, my FIL, MIL and all my in laws adalah sgt memahami.
Tidak pernah sekali pun mengungkit soal anak dgn kami.
In fact, they are being so supportive so that I can think positively.
Tetambah saya baru lepas miscarriage ni kan.
Tapi tu lah, org luar tu yg kadang2 over.
Most of the times ai managed to stay strong but sometimes, berkaca jgk mata ni.
Mulut org kan... susah nak tutup.
Ada masa tu ai terpaksa jadi sarcastic.
Menjawab dgn kata2 yg boleh bg org tu sakit hati balik.
Ok lah.
Am still working today.
Tak amik coti pon raya ni.
Just besok je 1 day then next Monday dah masuk keja balik.
To those yg beraya kat kg, berhati-hati di jalan raya.
Selamat hari raya again!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Selamat Hari Bapa, Ayah!
Memang tak ramai yg tau that I lost my father when I'm only 2 years old.
I cuma ckp my father dah passed away.
So smlm tgk news feed semua dok wish Happy Father's Day.
I took the chance by writing that.
Anyway, saya bersyukur sekarang sbb I have a Father now.
Walaupon father in law.
Semoga 1 hari nanti saya boleh wish Happy Father's day to my dear husband pulak.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
CD 2.
Usaha bulan lepas gagal lagi.
But ai managed utk menahan air mata ini dr mengalir sebab sedey.
Yeah, I'm a stronger women dis month.
Anyway, we both decided to try normal again dis month due to my health condition.
Ai batuk dah dekat sebulan.
So nak bagi my body free from all the medicine dulu baru nak proceed with IUI.
Lagi pon my birthday is coming on June.
Mana tau Tuhan nak bagi the best gift to me masa tu kan.
In Shaa Allah.
But anyhow, Sang Suami dah kena pon pau early bday gift yang pertama (panjang lagi list dia) last week.
Items In Shaa Allah sampai end of this month.
Actual birthday gift tak tau dpt ke tidak.
Ai hanya berani mintak.
Hahahah.
Thank you Sang Suami for this!
But ai managed utk menahan air mata ini dr mengalir sebab sedey.
Yeah, I'm a stronger women dis month.
Anyway, we both decided to try normal again dis month due to my health condition.
Ai batuk dah dekat sebulan.
So nak bagi my body free from all the medicine dulu baru nak proceed with IUI.
Lagi pon my birthday is coming on June.
Mana tau Tuhan nak bagi the best gift to me masa tu kan.
In Shaa Allah.
But anyhow, Sang Suami dah kena pon pau early bday gift yang pertama (panjang lagi list dia) last week.
Items In Shaa Allah sampai end of this month.
Actual birthday gift tak tau dpt ke tidak.
Ai hanya berani mintak.
Hahahah.
Thank you Sang Suami for this!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Berusaha lah selagi mampu.
Yes.
Itu adalah satu nasihat yang ai pernah terima tak berapa lama dulu.
From an X TTCians.
Kakak tu is one of Malaysians yang stay dekat Jakarta.
Her story is truly inspiring.
She got married at d age of 28 yrs old.
Got her 1st kid at the age of 36 yrs old.
8 tahun!
Dia citer kat ai semua effort yang dia buat.
5 ke 6 times IUI failed.
2 kali IVF.
Semua ceruk specialists dia pegi.
Urut semua pon dia buat.
Dia beruntung sbb dia dan suami mempunyai kemampuan dr segi kewangan.
Masuk kali ke 7 IUI, dia berjaya hamil!!!
Then after 2 years deliver, dia buat IVF for 2nd child.
Alhamdulillah success.
Dr asked whether she wanted to "ikat" or not.
She said no need sbb all the while pon dia tak berjaya dgn kaedah normal.
But kuasa Allah SWT siapa yang mampu menghalang...
Dia pregnant normal utk baby ke 3 after 1 yr plus deliver the 2nd baby!!!
Dia selalu nasihatkan ai supaya bersabar dan berusaha selagi ai dan suami mampu.
If tak mampu dari segi kewangan sekalipun, that's not the reason for you to quit.
Dan In Shaa Allah, ai won't quit either and akan berusaha selagi terdaya.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
CD 14 - April
Last Friday Dr. K gave me ovidrel utk pecahkan telur.
Start semlm my body temperature got hay wired.
Terasa panas kat dalam.
Sudahnya demam.
With flu and coughing.
Great.
End up tak pi keja.
Today pon sama.
Terasa lagi panas kat dalam badan.
Batuk kurang.
But flu menjadi-jadi.
Tapi ari ni gagahkan diri ke tempat kerja.
Apekah semua ini?
Start semlm my body temperature got hay wired.
Terasa panas kat dalam.
Sudahnya demam.
With flu and coughing.
Great.
End up tak pi keja.
Today pon sama.
Terasa lagi panas kat dalam badan.
Batuk kurang.
But flu menjadi-jadi.
Tapi ari ni gagahkan diri ke tempat kerja.
Apekah semua ini?
TTC Poems #1
Poems I've found over the internet.
Wanting, hoping, and praying.
Who’d have thought life would be this bad
A baby is all we'd rather
have a little one to call our own.
Getting tired of trying and failing.
Just waiting to make our house a home.
Life goes on, it’ll be are time
Don’t tell us that things will be just fine.
No one knows how hard it is
when there is this emptiness with in
Time goes by in such a whiz
That clock we hears is ticking away
Will she ever make it to test day?
Tests, needles and lots of pain
Will we ever get through this hurtful game?
Mothers day comes and goes
How hurt we are it never shows
Pregnant ladies are all around
can’t even lift my eyes from the ground
This is really driving us down
Maybe one day it will be our time.
Until that time we must be strong and keep testing on
Please pray for us and that baby dust down!
Saturday, April 20, 2013
LPPKN - CD 11
Semalam ada appointment dgn Dr. K.
TVS scan is done to see how my eggs react towards clomid 100mg.
Sadly, I have one 1 good size of egg.
LPPKN nye procedure they won't proceed if only ada 1 egg.
Derang nak 3 at least.
Then to my surprise, Dr ckp my fibroid dah menghimpit dinding rahim.
Dia suruh remove dulu the fibroid and wanted to refer me to HKL.
Arrghh! Memang tak la I nak go thru another myomectomy session lagi kan.
Macam nak gugur jantung bila Dr K ckp mcm tuh.
Lps keluar je treatment room, I nangis.
Biarlah ramai yg tgk pon dekat LPPKN tuh.
Dr K bagi I ovidrel.
Suruh try normal dulu utk cycle ni.
Cost smlm - RM 70.
So after a round of discussion dgn Sang Suami, we both decided nak continue balik dgn Dr. Adilah.
Susah gomen ni byk sgt procedure.
Dr Adilah hari tu ckp my fibroid located dekat dgn uterine and tak kena rahim pun.
Ni Dr K ckp dah himpit dinding rahim.
I jadi confused sekejap.
Anyway, bought Pati Delima Gulsan.
And start minum malam td.
We'll see how the result nanti.
Bagi merubat kesedihan, later nak g Port Dickson with my family.
A short vaccay.
Terima kasih Suami!
TVS scan is done to see how my eggs react towards clomid 100mg.
Sadly, I have one 1 good size of egg.
LPPKN nye procedure they won't proceed if only ada 1 egg.
Derang nak 3 at least.
Then to my surprise, Dr ckp my fibroid dah menghimpit dinding rahim.
Dia suruh remove dulu the fibroid and wanted to refer me to HKL.
Arrghh! Memang tak la I nak go thru another myomectomy session lagi kan.
Macam nak gugur jantung bila Dr K ckp mcm tuh.
Lps keluar je treatment room, I nangis.
Biarlah ramai yg tgk pon dekat LPPKN tuh.
Dr K bagi I ovidrel.
Suruh try normal dulu utk cycle ni.
Cost smlm - RM 70.
So after a round of discussion dgn Sang Suami, we both decided nak continue balik dgn Dr. Adilah.
Susah gomen ni byk sgt procedure.
Dr Adilah hari tu ckp my fibroid located dekat dgn uterine and tak kena rahim pun.
Ni Dr K ckp dah himpit dinding rahim.
I jadi confused sekejap.
Anyway, bought Pati Delima Gulsan.
And start minum malam td.
We'll see how the result nanti.
Bagi merubat kesedihan, later nak g Port Dickson with my family.
A short vaccay.
Terima kasih Suami!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Rasa Hati Ini
Gara-gara lately ni I byk baca blog-blog TTC kat luar sana tuh, I pon terpanggil lah nak create 1 blog TTC.
Dari dok bercampur aduk lambakkan kan semua kat http://iamqimie.com tuh.
From my readings, I managed to know what are the difficulties they went thru during TTC.
Bermacam-macam cara mereka usahakan demi rezeki yang satu ini.
Including myself.
Dari blog-blog itu, saya cuba membina kekuatan saya sendiri untuk lebih bersedia menghadapi segala dugaan mendatang di masa hadapan.
Jujur, dalaman saya tidak sekuat luaran saya yang masih mampu mengukir senyuman dan mengucapkan tahniah setiap kali perkhabaran itu menusuk telinga.
Seikhlas manapun ucapan itu terungkap dari bibir ini, pasti jauh di sudut hati ini terasa pedihnya.
Namun, saya tetap bersyukur kerana keluarga dan teman2 rapat amat memahami situasi diri.
Yang sentiasa memberikan sokongan dan dorongan di kala diri amat memerlukan.
Dan yang lebih penting, Sang Suami jua turut sama-sama memahami perasaan ini dan sentiasa memberikan kata-kata positif supaya diri ini tidak dibebani rasa sedih yang melampau.
Melalui blog-blog itu jua, kami berdua mencuba segala jalan yang ada untuk mendapatkan rezeki yang satu ini.
Berkorban masa dan wang ringgit demi mendapatkan zuriat.
In Shaa Allah….
credit to goo.gle dan ratuhati.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)