#9 Road to ICSI - AF is here!

As expected, got my AF today!
Called KL Fert just now to make appointment with Dr. T tomorrow.
For sure besok kena bebel because the other day buat sugar blood test, I got pre-diabetic results.
Tapi semlm 1st day puasa try jugak buat home test sugar checking and the result is 6.9mml.

Hopefully the result will keep going down sbb I dah sehabis baik dah control my sugar intake for the past 1 month.

Besok re-assessment day.
Wahai telur-telur ku, keluarlah dengan jayanya!
Really hope the right ovary punye telur dah boleh nampak sbb masa laps ritu Dr. Ng dah betulkan kedudukan right ovary tu.

Then Dr. T pon nak tgk video my laps procedure ari tu.
Uii seram uii!

And most likely I am required to pay my ICSI deposit by tomorrow.

Semoga Allah permudahkan segala2nya besok.
Seriyes I setiap kali nak g jumpa Dr, setiap kali tu nervous breakdown.
Phobia nak dgr bad news because so far there is really no good news we received ever since we started back the treatment.

But somehow, Alhamdulillah we both managed to encounter those obstacles easily.

Memang masa mula2 dpt news, I will surely broke into tears sbb 1 after another kan but DH really has taught me to be come and be positive all the way thru.
Sekarang ni what I did to make myself to stay positive at all time is by reading all the success IVF/ICSI stories thru google.
Dari situ saya cari kekuatan untuk meneruskan my ICSI journey.
In fact dr IG pon saya dah dpt kawan TTC from Australia !

Semoga Allah akan terus menerus memberikan saya kekuatan untuk melalui perjalanan ini till succeed!

#4 Road to ICSI - Telling people about ur IVF journey..

To some people, spreading the news about you and ur DH need IVF/ICSI just to get a baby is humiliating.
Eventually to them, others will have the thought that either one of u is having infertility problems.

Well for me, I want to take my TTC stories to another level.
To educate people out there that it is not our fault if we can't get the child of our own.
It is all about rezeki dari Allah SWT.
I want people out there to know that we both have tried all possible ways in order to get 1 child.
I don't want them to just assumed we both did nothing.

Besides, I know I am surrounded with good friends and families who always pray the best for me.
So I want them to pray for both of us on this IVF/ICSI journey.
Mana tau berkat doa families and kawan2 tu semua Allah SWT makbulkan.
We never know.

I know I am not ashamed for not being able to conceive on our own.
Itu semua ujian dari Allah SWT yang menunjukkan Allah SWT tu sayangkan kami berdua.

Being positive is all that I want to do now.
Keeping all the positive vibes around me.

I broke the news to my mom and sister.
DH broke the news to my SILs.
Only parents in law have no clue about it.
All the while pon they never make noise of it.
They always said rezeki tak sampai lagi.
But we will somehow tell them as well.
Nak mintak mereka doakan jugak.

The funny part, my mom, sister and SILs suruh buat kembar!
Hey igt senang nak main buat2?
So we need to explain to them on how the procedure.
Mintak diaorg doakan jugak.

Rasa bersyukur sangat family terdekat semuanya memahami and gave the support that we need.

Kalau korang pulak macamana? U tell others or just keep it to yourself? 

Crash, boom, bang!

Macamana tajuk post, macam tu lah hati saya waktu received the blood test results.
Need I elaborate more?

It's BFN!

Sedih?
Yes. But kali ini lebih kuat.
I cried for only few minutes in the car.

Bila dipujuk oleh DH, I managed to set myself calm.
We had our discussion.
DH wants us to give a break before proceed with the 2nd IUI.
So this cycle break jap and continue March.

DH wanted us to improve on our weaknesses the other day.
Me to reduce the fibroid size and DH to improve his sperm counts.

Kendian DH pancing pulak to go for retail therapy.











And we bought this!

After dekat 10 tahun tak tukar katil.
Dr zaman sebelum kawin.
Time kawin pon beli katil baru utk letak rumah my in laws je.

So who knows can, dgn aura katil baru, we manage to conceive naturally lagi ke..
In Shaa Allah.

Semlm masuk kerja pon saya kuat.
And later in the evening ada spotting.

AF is on its way.

Today, AF muncul.

Bohong kalau ai cakap ai tak sedey..
But I have prepared myself, kalau tak jadi this time, I will redha and will keep on trying.
I have to be positive at all time.
I tak nak stress as stress pon boleh membantu fibroid utk membesar dgn jayanya.

Besides berdoa, ai do alot of readings.
Read psl rakan2 TTCians yg dah berjaya mendapatkan zuriat.
What they do, what they eat.. semua lah.
Mana yg i mampu, i ikut.

At least I know when it turns out BFN, i know that I have gave my best shot in trying rather then not trying at all.

Till then..

Thanks to my TTCians friends and friends in Whatsapp, IG, blog, FB yg telah mendoakan saya.
Saya pon berdoa agar semua yg senasib dgn saya dibagi peluang utk mendapatkan zuriat mereka jugak..

In shaa Allah...


BHCG test = RM 91.

From Dr Hamid Arshat

Something to share from Dr Hamid's FB.

Bagi mereka yg masih berusaha mendapat zuriatan toiba.

1. Jangan putus asa terus berdoa kpd Allah dan berusaha dapatkan rawatan. - In Shaa Allah masih belum berputus asa

2. Turunkan berat dan kawal disekitar 60 kg. - Uwaaaa!! Susahnya!

3. Kurangkan gula dan karbohaidrat dalam minuman dan makanan. - Errkkk!!

4. Minum teh hijau dan fresh juice . Jauhkan fizzy/soft drink dan juice dalam botol atau kotak. Minum air kelapa atau buat juice buah2. - Ai mmg jarang minum soft drink.

5. Makan lebih sayur2 hijau, ulam2, sop sayur, salad, pecal atau rojak. - Yes, ni mmg ai akan pastikan if masak mesti kena ada sayur.

6. Makan lebih buah2 . Mulakan setiap sajian makanan dengan buah2, diikuti sayur2. - Ini kdg2.

7. Kurangkan nasi , masak lauk2 - daging , ayam dan ikan yg fresh/segar. Gunakan lebih kunyit, halia, serai dan bawang dalam masakan. - Hmmm... nasi kurang yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........

8. Jauhkan fast dan junk foods dan makanan2 yg diperoses yg mengandungi pengawet, perisa dan pemanis. - Bahek lah akan kurangkan makan mcd!

9. Rehat dan relaks. Ambil cuti bila isteri subur. Boleh kesan kesuburan dengan ujian ovulation.

10. Lakukan exercise dgn berjalan kaki, jogging, treadmill atau berenang 30 minit setiap hari. - ai jalan kat area office ni je...

11. Supplemen2 - multivtamins, folic, vitamin E dan C, logam2 zinc dan selenium. Fish oil, habbatus sauda. - ai amalkan pati delima and asid folic for now.

12. Berbagai2 kaedah rawatan menambah peluang hamil - xray HSG, hydrotubation , D&C, Laparoscopy, IUI, IVF ICSI dan lain2.

13. Setiap pasangan kelamin perlu bersungguh2 dan disiplin untuk mematuhi garis panduan.


Semoga berhasil!!

Setahun.

In 4 days, genap lah setahun ai buat Myomectomy surgery.

What is Myomectomy?

A myomectomy is an operation to remove fibroids while preserving the uterus. For women who have fibroid symptoms and want to have children in the future, myomectomy is the best treatment option.

Myomectomy is very effective, but fibroids can re-grow. The younger you are and the more fibroids you have at the time of myomectomy, the more likely you are to develop fibroids again in the future. Women nearing menopause are the least likely to have recurring problems from fibroids after a myomectomy.

A myomectomy can be performed several different ways. Depending on the size, number and location of your fibroids, you may be eligible for an abdominal myomectomy, a laparoscopic myomectomy or a hysteroscopic myomectomy.

For my story about the surgery can go to Pengalaman operate Fibroid . 

And in 2 days, I'll be reaching 33 years old. 

Gosh, time flies! 

Dear Suami,

No words can describe how to thank u for all the things u have done to me.

I love u.

Berusaha lah selagi mampu.

Yes.
Itu adalah satu nasihat yang ai pernah terima tak berapa lama dulu.
From an X TTCians.

Kakak tu is one of Malaysians yang stay dekat Jakarta.
Her story is truly inspiring.

She got married at d age of 28 yrs old.
Got her 1st kid at the age of 36 yrs old.

8 tahun!

Dia citer kat ai semua effort yang dia buat.
5 ke 6 times IUI failed.
2 kali IVF.
Semua ceruk specialists dia pegi.
Urut semua pon dia buat.

Dia beruntung sbb dia dan suami mempunyai kemampuan dr segi kewangan.
Masuk kali ke 7 IUI, dia berjaya hamil!!!

Then after 2 years deliver, dia buat IVF for 2nd child.
Alhamdulillah success.

Dr asked whether she wanted to "ikat" or not.
She said no need sbb all the while pon dia tak berjaya dgn kaedah normal.

But kuasa Allah SWT siapa yang mampu menghalang...

Dia pregnant normal utk baby ke 3 after 1 yr plus deliver the 2nd baby!!!

Dia selalu nasihatkan ai supaya bersabar dan berusaha selagi ai dan suami mampu.
If tak mampu dari segi kewangan sekalipun, that's not the reason for you to quit.

Dan In Shaa Allah, ai won't quit either and akan berusaha selagi terdaya.