Bismillah..
Tak tau macamana nak update ..
BETA test came out BFN.
Yes, I've failed my first ICSI.
It's been hard for me at first but with the support I got from my families, TTC friends, friends and not forgetting my DH, Alhamdulillah I am OK now.
I am recovering although not fully recovered. It takes time.
But I am strong. I know.
We all TTCians does.
I am thankful enough that I still have 2 embryos with 8-cells frozen.
I haven't decided when to continue my FET and DR. T already informed me that I can start the soonest after my next 2 cycle of period.
Everything was fine all the way from OPU till ET day.
I got 9 eggs collected.
8 fertilized.
4 made it to day 3.
2 transferred was 6 and 7 cell embryos.
2 frozen with 8 cells embryos.
Lining was great. Sugar was level was great s well.
I bed rested till 10dp3dt until I got my spotting.
No other symptom except AF cramp almost everyday from 4dp3dt.
My BETA was scheduled on 12dp3dt but since I got spotting, I was called to do it on 11dp3dt which falls on last Friday.
It came back NEGATIVE.
Dr. T was sad as well.
But I know, Allah has better plan for me for now.
Showing posts with label ujian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ujian. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Monday, August 24, 2015
#12 Road to ICSI - Less than a month!
Sedar tak sedar kan tinggal kurang dari sebulan je lagi for my ICSI.
Ikut kata Dr. T mmg September lah dia nak proceed.
Tapi tak tau la by that time my body is ready 100% or not for it.
In Shaa Allah.
Let's hope for the best.
My feelings?
Ntah.
Roller coaster of emotions.
Kejap rasa I'm fine. Kejap datang angin puting beliung.
Kejap nanges. Kejap gelak.
In terms of preparation, I ikut je apa ubat dan supplements yg Doktor suruh.
Then tried to control my food intake walau terkadang terbabas jgk.
Morning breakfast dgn Oat. 3 in 1.
Ada yg advise makan raw oat but I dah berjaya makan oat hari2 ni pon rasa dah bersyukur sgt.
Lunch tgk apa sempat. If masuk office, I ate soupy2 noodles.
Still better than nasi. Avoid as much oily food as possible.
Dinner pon either makan oat or avoiding nasi lagi.
Kat rumah, beras I beli yg organic Faiza for diabetes tu.
Paksa DH makan jgk. Tapi like once a week je kot makan nasi.
Then saya workout depan TV dgn stability balls.
30 minutes daily.
So berjaya lah turun around 1.7kgs in 10 days.
Syukur nikmat sgt dah tu.
Pastu ari tu I unfollowed semua IG retis2 dan online handbag seller.
Negative vibes to me sbb manjang stress je tgk handbag lawa2.
Bahaha.
And I changed my way of posting pictures dekat IG jgk.
Byk letak doa and positive quotes.
Biar lapang sikit hati baca.
Rohani wise, I amalkan zikir2 :
Ya Khaliq, Ya Bari', Ya Musawwir, Ya Razzaq, Ya Fatah, Ya Karim, Ya Allah.
100 times each.
Besides all the normal routine solat and solat sunat.
Setiap masa berdoa pada Allah supaya mudahkan perjalanan saya ini.
Itu je la kot for now.
Ikut kata Dr. T mmg September lah dia nak proceed.
Tapi tak tau la by that time my body is ready 100% or not for it.
In Shaa Allah.
Let's hope for the best.
My feelings?
Ntah.
Roller coaster of emotions.
Kejap rasa I'm fine. Kejap datang angin puting beliung.
Kejap nanges. Kejap gelak.
In terms of preparation, I ikut je apa ubat dan supplements yg Doktor suruh.
Then tried to control my food intake walau terkadang terbabas jgk.
Morning breakfast dgn Oat. 3 in 1.
Ada yg advise makan raw oat but I dah berjaya makan oat hari2 ni pon rasa dah bersyukur sgt.
Lunch tgk apa sempat. If masuk office, I ate soupy2 noodles.
Still better than nasi. Avoid as much oily food as possible.
Dinner pon either makan oat or avoiding nasi lagi.
Kat rumah, beras I beli yg organic Faiza for diabetes tu.
Paksa DH makan jgk. Tapi like once a week je kot makan nasi.
Then saya workout depan TV dgn stability balls.
30 minutes daily.
So berjaya lah turun around 1.7kgs in 10 days.
Syukur nikmat sgt dah tu.
Pastu ari tu I unfollowed semua IG retis2 dan online handbag seller.
Negative vibes to me sbb manjang stress je tgk handbag lawa2.
Bahaha.
And I changed my way of posting pictures dekat IG jgk.
Byk letak doa and positive quotes.
Biar lapang sikit hati baca.
Rohani wise, I amalkan zikir2 :
Ya Khaliq, Ya Bari', Ya Musawwir, Ya Razzaq, Ya Fatah, Ya Karim, Ya Allah.
100 times each.
Besides all the normal routine solat and solat sunat.
Setiap masa berdoa pada Allah supaya mudahkan perjalanan saya ini.
Itu je la kot for now.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
#6 Road to ICSI - Laparoscopy
Hello.
Lupa nak update lps jumpa Dr. Natasha last week on my CD 2.
Tah macamana boleh awal sehari pulak cycle bulan ni and my CD 1 falls on Sunday!
Camne nak buat appointment dengan clinic yang tutup?
So I pon gigih pepagi tu email Dr. Tasha and told her that I got my period that day and I need to see her on the next day.
I think lepas 2 hours kot Dr Tasha replied my mail and she said just come the next day at 10-11 am dekat KL Fert.
Pepagi Monday tu dah terpacak kat KL Fert and dpt turn no 2.
Masa tu tak ramai orang lagi and by 1030am dah dpt jumpa Dr.
As usual start with TVS.
Dr found 4 on my left ovary and on my right got 2 follicles itupon selepas Dr struggle to find my right ovary.
It has been blocked or maybe pushed slightly up due to my fibroid (s).
She asked for USG pulak but I was not full bladder.
Tapi try la jugak.
Yang nampak fibroid itupon tak jelas.
Dr asked me to go and have a drink bagi penuh bladder and come back after 45 minutes.
Dah puas minum, masuk la lagi sekali.
Still sama jugak. Right ovary tetap tak nampak.
And again, Dr suruh tambah lagi minum.
Mek masa tu dah nak terkencing sgt kot!
Waited for another 30 minutes before masuk lagi sekali.
And again, Dr buat USG.
Still, my right ovary tak nampak but fibroid is clearly seen 2.5cm X 2 cm in size.
So Dr advise not to proceed with IVF sebab dia takut fibroid tu akan mengganggu process embrio transfer nnt eventhough the fibroid is not in the uterus tp location dia memang tgh2 rahim tu.
She advised me to go for laparoscopy and referred me to Dr. Ng Kwee Boon at Tung Shin Hospital.
King of Laparoscopy katanya.
Ya Allah, masa tu Tuhan aje tau apa I rasa.
My heart broke into pieces knowing that I have to postpone my IVF bila I rasa I dah cukup bersedia utk itu.
Keluar je dr bilik Dr. Tasha, we both went for a quick lunch sbb I mmg lapar tp masa tunggu food smp memang menangis la I kat restaurant yg penuh orang tu.
Ado aku kesah?
As usual, DH mmg tenang. He comfort me by saying, my health is way more important to him rather than having a child right now.
Dia nak I pegi jumpa Dr. KB Ng tu jgk (which is today).
After 1 week thinking, I decided utk gagahkan jugak diri pegi jumpa Dr. KB Ng.
So tadi ke Tung Shin la I with DH.
Around 1030 am dpt jumpa Dr. 1st patient.
1st, Dr KB did USG.
Obviously mmg ada la fibroid tu. 2 biji tapi kecik.
Dr ckp by right the fibroid tak mengganggu rahim pon and shouldn't be a problem utk IVF tapi Dr. KB ckp jugak if pregnant, masa tu nanti ada masalah.
Dia pon tertanya jugak kenapa Dr. Tasha tulis dlm referral letter to that she worried there is a problem during the Embrio Transfer.
So Dr. KB asked to do a TVS.
Nah.. kat sini baru nampak clear kenapa Dr. Tasha mintak remove the fibroid.
I have 1 fibroid yg menghimpit laluan sperm ke rahim tu.
Size 3.5 cm x 3 cm kot.
Terus la Dr. ckp better laparoscopy when all the size is still small.
I asked when?
He said, the soonest this Thursday!
I pandang DH, DH looked at me.
Then DH asked, how long to recover.. Dr ckp seminggu dah ok dah.
Dok spital pon 1 nite je.
How much is the cost?
RM 9 K++.
Again kami berpandangan. Told the Dr that my insurance does not cover anything related to fibroid after I had my surgery last time.
After few minutes of thinking, DH ckp buat je lah Khamis ni.
We also asked, after laps, when can we proceed with the IVF and Dr. KB said after 2 mths time.
But I can try naturally within that time.
Laparoscopy it is.
This time, I don't cry.
Strong me.
Please pray for me ya!
Semoga Allah permudahkan semua ini...
Nanti I update lagi lps Laps ya.
Total cost with Dr. Natasha - RM 180
Total cost with Dr. KB Ng - RM 243
Lupa nak update lps jumpa Dr. Natasha last week on my CD 2.
Tah macamana boleh awal sehari pulak cycle bulan ni and my CD 1 falls on Sunday!
Camne nak buat appointment dengan clinic yang tutup?
So I pon gigih pepagi tu email Dr. Tasha and told her that I got my period that day and I need to see her on the next day.
I think lepas 2 hours kot Dr Tasha replied my mail and she said just come the next day at 10-11 am dekat KL Fert.
Pepagi Monday tu dah terpacak kat KL Fert and dpt turn no 2.
Masa tu tak ramai orang lagi and by 1030am dah dpt jumpa Dr.
As usual start with TVS.
Dr found 4 on my left ovary and on my right got 2 follicles itupon selepas Dr struggle to find my right ovary.
It has been blocked or maybe pushed slightly up due to my fibroid (s).
She asked for USG pulak but I was not full bladder.
Tapi try la jugak.
Yang nampak fibroid itupon tak jelas.
Dr asked me to go and have a drink bagi penuh bladder and come back after 45 minutes.
Dah puas minum, masuk la lagi sekali.
Still sama jugak. Right ovary tetap tak nampak.
And again, Dr suruh tambah lagi minum.
Mek masa tu dah nak terkencing sgt kot!
Waited for another 30 minutes before masuk lagi sekali.
And again, Dr buat USG.
Still, my right ovary tak nampak but fibroid is clearly seen 2.5cm X 2 cm in size.
So Dr advise not to proceed with IVF sebab dia takut fibroid tu akan mengganggu process embrio transfer nnt eventhough the fibroid is not in the uterus tp location dia memang tgh2 rahim tu.
She advised me to go for laparoscopy and referred me to Dr. Ng Kwee Boon at Tung Shin Hospital.
King of Laparoscopy katanya.
Ya Allah, masa tu Tuhan aje tau apa I rasa.
My heart broke into pieces knowing that I have to postpone my IVF bila I rasa I dah cukup bersedia utk itu.
Keluar je dr bilik Dr. Tasha, we both went for a quick lunch sbb I mmg lapar tp masa tunggu food smp memang menangis la I kat restaurant yg penuh orang tu.
Ado aku kesah?
As usual, DH mmg tenang. He comfort me by saying, my health is way more important to him rather than having a child right now.
Dia nak I pegi jumpa Dr. KB Ng tu jgk (which is today).
After 1 week thinking, I decided utk gagahkan jugak diri pegi jumpa Dr. KB Ng.
So tadi ke Tung Shin la I with DH.
Around 1030 am dpt jumpa Dr. 1st patient.
1st, Dr KB did USG.
Obviously mmg ada la fibroid tu. 2 biji tapi kecik.
Dr ckp by right the fibroid tak mengganggu rahim pon and shouldn't be a problem utk IVF tapi Dr. KB ckp jugak if pregnant, masa tu nanti ada masalah.
Dia pon tertanya jugak kenapa Dr. Tasha tulis dlm referral letter to that she worried there is a problem during the Embrio Transfer.
So Dr. KB asked to do a TVS.
Nah.. kat sini baru nampak clear kenapa Dr. Tasha mintak remove the fibroid.
I have 1 fibroid yg menghimpit laluan sperm ke rahim tu.
Size 3.5 cm x 3 cm kot.
Terus la Dr. ckp better laparoscopy when all the size is still small.
I asked when?
He said, the soonest this Thursday!
I pandang DH, DH looked at me.
Then DH asked, how long to recover.. Dr ckp seminggu dah ok dah.
Dok spital pon 1 nite je.
How much is the cost?
RM 9 K++.
Again kami berpandangan. Told the Dr that my insurance does not cover anything related to fibroid after I had my surgery last time.
After few minutes of thinking, DH ckp buat je lah Khamis ni.
We also asked, after laps, when can we proceed with the IVF and Dr. KB said after 2 mths time.
But I can try naturally within that time.
Laparoscopy it is.
This time, I don't cry.
Strong me.
Please pray for me ya!
Semoga Allah permudahkan semua ini...
Nanti I update lagi lps Laps ya.
Total cost with Dr. Natasha - RM 180
Total cost with Dr. KB Ng - RM 243
Thursday, September 11, 2014
CD 3 - Cycle gagal lagi.
Walaupon dah sehabis relax dgn bercuti sana-sini but takde rezeki lagi utk kami bulan ini.
Sad?
Nah.
Redha.
Belum sampai waktunya lagi utk Allah bg rezeki itu kepada kami.
Tp Alhamdulillah.. Allah masih lagi bagi kami rezeki lain di bulan ini.
My Maxshoppe Delicacies cookies utk raya mostly dah abis terjual at selected kedai Mesra Petronas.
Despite all the complaints and maki hamun sbb payung belum abis lagi.
Masih ada customer yg membeli our raya cookies.
Syukur.
Sebut pesal payung Petronas, memang Iols malas nak komen apa2.
Kalau defend lebey kang ada jgk mulut2 yg berbunyik.
Even for ourself pon tak dpt nak bg sanak saudara, adik beradik the payung walaupon berbagai tohmahan dilemparkan kat dealer ckp kami sorok payung lah..
Hebat kuasa payung Petronas ni.
This week akan ke Raub for cousin's wedding.
Eh jalan lagi?
After that, berakhirlah sudah misi jalan2 kami.
I gotta concetrate on my next project.
Yg dah dekat 2 bulan jgk tertangguh.
Nak g jumpa Dr Adilah this month pon dia bercuti haji.
Bersabar je la next cycle.
Dah 5 tahun lebih ley sabar kan, inikan pulak 1 bulan je..
Mungkin ada hikmah dia, who knows.
Sad?
Nah.
Redha.
Belum sampai waktunya lagi utk Allah bg rezeki itu kepada kami.
Tp Alhamdulillah.. Allah masih lagi bagi kami rezeki lain di bulan ini.
My Maxshoppe Delicacies cookies utk raya mostly dah abis terjual at selected kedai Mesra Petronas.
Despite all the complaints and maki hamun sbb payung belum abis lagi.
Masih ada customer yg membeli our raya cookies.
Syukur.
Sebut pesal payung Petronas, memang Iols malas nak komen apa2.
Kalau defend lebey kang ada jgk mulut2 yg berbunyik.
Even for ourself pon tak dpt nak bg sanak saudara, adik beradik the payung walaupon berbagai tohmahan dilemparkan kat dealer ckp kami sorok payung lah..
Hebat kuasa payung Petronas ni.
This week akan ke Raub for cousin's wedding.
Eh jalan lagi?
After that, berakhirlah sudah misi jalan2 kami.
I gotta concetrate on my next project.
Yg dah dekat 2 bulan jgk tertangguh.
Nak g jumpa Dr Adilah this month pon dia bercuti haji.
Bersabar je la next cycle.
Dah 5 tahun lebih ley sabar kan, inikan pulak 1 bulan je..
Mungkin ada hikmah dia, who knows.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Will I have the chance?
Bila baca good news dr some of the TTCians yg dah berjaya conceived this month, I started to think will I have the same chance as well?
Knowing that I have tried many things in order to conceive for the past 5 years lagi membuatkan I tertanya-tanya.. will I be able to go thru the experience of becoming a mother to my own child?
I have a friend who recently adopt a baby boy.
She is a very good friend of mine.
We've been friends since we were in form 1.
Memang dari skolah lagi she only had her period like 3 - 5 times a year.
Her first marriage doesn't work for her.
Married for like a year then divorced.
Then on 2010, she got married to another guy who is much much older than her with 3 kids.
Since then she tried to get herself conceived.
She was lucky this time as the hubby is super rich!
So money wasn't an issue for them.
She tried IUI. Failed.
Went for IVF. Failed.
Then she had her Ovarian Drilling since she is not producing eggs.
Tried another IVF. Failed.
She gave up.
She told me she is adopting a baby boy.
And now, the baby is with her.
She is now happy with her new life.
So, me?
Ada rasa nak gave up but deep down inside, I still putting hopes.
I'll give myself till next year kot.
Then will consider to adopt.
Perhaps.
Knowing that I have tried many things in order to conceive for the past 5 years lagi membuatkan I tertanya-tanya.. will I be able to go thru the experience of becoming a mother to my own child?
I have a friend who recently adopt a baby boy.
She is a very good friend of mine.
We've been friends since we were in form 1.
Memang dari skolah lagi she only had her period like 3 - 5 times a year.
Her first marriage doesn't work for her.
Married for like a year then divorced.
Then on 2010, she got married to another guy who is much much older than her with 3 kids.
Since then she tried to get herself conceived.
She was lucky this time as the hubby is super rich!
So money wasn't an issue for them.
She tried IUI. Failed.
Went for IVF. Failed.
Then she had her Ovarian Drilling since she is not producing eggs.
Tried another IVF. Failed.
She gave up.
She told me she is adopting a baby boy.
And now, the baby is with her.
She is now happy with her new life.
So, me?
Ada rasa nak gave up but deep down inside, I still putting hopes.
I'll give myself till next year kot.
Then will consider to adopt.
Perhaps.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Bernasib baik kah aku?
Sometimes bila ada masa I ada jugak la bukak forum, group FB etc pesal TTCians ni.
Ada some posting bercerita tentang masalah being a TTCians dr sudut family and friends.
Masalah nak mengadap orang2 yg bermulut puaka ni.
Ada jgk orang2 itu termasuklah mak mertua, pak mertua, kakak / adik2 ipar etc.
Kira org yang terdekat dgn kita.
Mmg hancur luluh hati mereka2 yg meluahkan perasaan tu.
Sedih I baca sebab walaupun mereka senasib dgn saya being a TTCians, dugaan mereka lebih hebat dr saya.
Saya bersyukur, semua ahli keluarga kami amat memahami yg semua itu rezeki Allah yg belum tiba.
Baik my own family or my in laws.
Tak pernah mereka menghina, mengeji kami kerana tak ada anak selama 5 tahun berkahwin.
Malah, mereka tetap memberikan sokongan dan doa dlm apa saja usaha kami utk mendapatkan zuriat ni.
Namun saya tetap tidak menolak, ada jugak di kalangan sedara mara yg kdg2 bertanya bila nak dpt anak.
How I wish I can answer them tomorrow!
Tp yg paling membuatkan saya rasa lagi sedih, bila baca posting yg menceritakan tentang suami sendiri yg tak nak support!
Hell o!
Ajak g clinic taknak teman apatah lagi nak buat test sbb dia rasa dia tak de masalah dan masalah tu kat bini je.
Pastu, isteri suruh makan supplement pon tak nak sbb dia rasa dia tak de masalah jugak.
Dah kenapa?
Nak letak blame tu semua kat bini ke?
Nama pon suami isteri.. takkan usaha sebelah pihak je?
Katanya, tawakal pada Allah.
Yes, memang semua pon kita kena tawakal dan redha atas ketentuan Allah tp Allah tak melarang kita dari berusaha kan?
Dah berusaha baru kita tawakal.
Ini semua pon nak letak kat bahu isteri.
Tak kesian ke kat bini korang tu?
Bukan semua tu tanggungjawab laki jgk ke?
It takes 2 to tango.
I ni nak kata DH i tu baik sgt tu tak lah but dia mmg ikut je apa yg I suruh dia buat.
Kira macam I buat jambatan, dia lalu je atas jambatan tu.
Tak pe la dr dia tak nak buat kan.
Tak tau la I mcmana TTCians yg ada problem mcm tu nak hadap laki yg jenis mcm tu.
Kesian.
Bertimpa2 dugaan.
Ya Allah, permudahkanlah perjalanan kami semua ini.
Ada some posting bercerita tentang masalah being a TTCians dr sudut family and friends.
Masalah nak mengadap orang2 yg bermulut puaka ni.
Ada jgk orang2 itu termasuklah mak mertua, pak mertua, kakak / adik2 ipar etc.
Kira org yang terdekat dgn kita.
Mmg hancur luluh hati mereka2 yg meluahkan perasaan tu.
Sedih I baca sebab walaupun mereka senasib dgn saya being a TTCians, dugaan mereka lebih hebat dr saya.
Saya bersyukur, semua ahli keluarga kami amat memahami yg semua itu rezeki Allah yg belum tiba.
Baik my own family or my in laws.
Tak pernah mereka menghina, mengeji kami kerana tak ada anak selama 5 tahun berkahwin.
Malah, mereka tetap memberikan sokongan dan doa dlm apa saja usaha kami utk mendapatkan zuriat ni.
Namun saya tetap tidak menolak, ada jugak di kalangan sedara mara yg kdg2 bertanya bila nak dpt anak.
How I wish I can answer them tomorrow!
Tp yg paling membuatkan saya rasa lagi sedih, bila baca posting yg menceritakan tentang suami sendiri yg tak nak support!
Hell o!
Ajak g clinic taknak teman apatah lagi nak buat test sbb dia rasa dia tak de masalah dan masalah tu kat bini je.
Pastu, isteri suruh makan supplement pon tak nak sbb dia rasa dia tak de masalah jugak.
Dah kenapa?
Nak letak blame tu semua kat bini ke?
Nama pon suami isteri.. takkan usaha sebelah pihak je?
Katanya, tawakal pada Allah.
Yes, memang semua pon kita kena tawakal dan redha atas ketentuan Allah tp Allah tak melarang kita dari berusaha kan?
Dah berusaha baru kita tawakal.
Ini semua pon nak letak kat bahu isteri.
Tak kesian ke kat bini korang tu?
Bukan semua tu tanggungjawab laki jgk ke?
It takes 2 to tango.
I ni nak kata DH i tu baik sgt tu tak lah but dia mmg ikut je apa yg I suruh dia buat.
Kira macam I buat jambatan, dia lalu je atas jambatan tu.
Tak pe la dr dia tak nak buat kan.
Tak tau la I mcmana TTCians yg ada problem mcm tu nak hadap laki yg jenis mcm tu.
Kesian.
Bertimpa2 dugaan.
Ya Allah, permudahkanlah perjalanan kami semua ini.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Update check up CD3 with Dr. Adilah.
Arrived at 840 am and amik no dulu.
Igtkan dah awal, tapi tetaplah dapat no 10.
Amik ko.
Turun bawah lepak Starbucks dulu la jwbnya.
Layan caramel hot choc dulu.
Dalam kol 1015 am mcm tuh baru dpt jumpa dr.
Nak lagi best?
They can't find my file.
Chantek!
Kena citer balik kat dr apa jadi.
Dr. Chantek suruh buat TVS.
Gosh.
Here comes the bad news.
I have 2 Subserosal Fibroids.
1 is diagnosed on my right side. Closed to my ovary.
Size 5 X 9 cm.
And it had been pushing my right ovary until it cant be seen thru USG.
The other one is diagnosed at 2 cm size and at almost the same position with the right one.
On the other hand, dr. Chantek said that my uterus is fine.
So she prescribed me 100 mg Clomid.
To be taken for 5 days (again).
Next appointment will be next Thursday (CD12)
If on that day, my eggs are there with the right size, will proceed with IUI.
Ya Allah, permudahkanlah semuanya....
Total bill today with TVS, Clomid and Consultation : RM 316.
Igtkan dah awal, tapi tetaplah dapat no 10.
Amik ko.
Turun bawah lepak Starbucks dulu la jwbnya.
Layan caramel hot choc dulu.
Me mmg addicted with Starbux Caramel Hot Choc.
So mmg bawak tumbler siap2.
DH pon layan minum yg sama jgk tp lagi tamak sbb amik size Venti terus.
Dalam kol 1015 am mcm tuh baru dpt jumpa dr.
Nak lagi best?
They can't find my file.
Chantek!
Kena citer balik kat dr apa jadi.
Dr. Chantek suruh buat TVS.
Gosh.
Here comes the bad news.
I have 2 Subserosal Fibroids.
1 is diagnosed on my right side. Closed to my ovary.
Size 5 X 9 cm.
And it had been pushing my right ovary until it cant be seen thru USG.
The other one is diagnosed at 2 cm size and at almost the same position with the right one.
On the other hand, dr. Chantek said that my uterus is fine.
So she prescribed me 100 mg Clomid.
To be taken for 5 days (again).
Next appointment will be next Thursday (CD12)
If on that day, my eggs are there with the right size, will proceed with IUI.
Ya Allah, permudahkanlah semuanya....
Total bill today with TVS, Clomid and Consultation : RM 316.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Mulut Puaka.
A good friend of my mom, yg boleh dikatakan alim jgk, out of nowhere, bagi ai soklan mintak kena bunuh last Saturday.
Masa tuh ai tgh main dgn my niece yg 9 months old.
During my cousin's engagement lak tu.
She said, "Along bila pulak nak ada anak?"
Tersentap jap ai kat situ.
Sbb bukannya jarang jumpa dia pon kan.
Selalu jgk jumpa dia.
Tanpa pandang pon muka dia, ai replied, "Bila Tuhan nak bagi and aunty doakan la jgk spy Along cepat dpt anak."
And she left.
Masa tuh ai tgh main dgn my niece yg 9 months old.
During my cousin's engagement lak tu.
She said, "Along bila pulak nak ada anak?"
Tersentap jap ai kat situ.
Sbb bukannya jarang jumpa dia pon kan.
Selalu jgk jumpa dia.
Tanpa pandang pon muka dia, ai replied, "Bila Tuhan nak bagi and aunty doakan la jgk spy Along cepat dpt anak."
And she left.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Emosi di malam hari.
Malam tadi sebelum tido, ai tetiba emo.
Dalam linangan air mata, mintak maaf dekat DH.
Dia pon terkejut.
Mintak maaf sebab tak dpt nak kasi dia zuriat lagi.
And again, DH is so calm.
Dgn tenang, dia suruh ai jgn mengarut.
Dia percaya semua ni ada hikmah.
Allah tahu apa yang terbaik utk kami.
Dan dlm linangan air mata jugak la ai tido tak sedar diri.
Dalam linangan air mata, mintak maaf dekat DH.
Dia pon terkejut.
Mintak maaf sebab tak dpt nak kasi dia zuriat lagi.
And again, DH is so calm.
Dgn tenang, dia suruh ai jgn mengarut.
Dia percaya semua ni ada hikmah.
Allah tahu apa yang terbaik utk kami.
Dan dlm linangan air mata jugak la ai tido tak sedar diri.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Monday, July 8, 2013
Allah menguji hambaNya ini...
Beware : This is going to be super long entry.
Tak tau macamana nak start tulis this entry.
Dgn keadaan hati yg masih sedih dan pilu.
Ai need the strength for all this.
Last Thursday, ai was confirmed by the doctor that I had miscarriaged!
The worst part, ai dont even know that i'm pregnant!!!!!!
Dr said the fetus size is around 10 weeks.
Ok meh flash back balik the story.
Last May, refer to this entry CD 2 and CD 5 ,
Then on CD 26, ai punye period dtg balik.
Ai thought it is absolutely normal sbb normal pon my cycle is around CD 28 or CD 29.
Tp period ni pendek sgt.
3 days.
But flow dia nak kata sikit tak sikit, byk tak byk.
So end up buat tak tau je la.
Then ai ng Shuben pon mmg tak terpk langsung psl TTC last month.
Memasing busykan diri bake cookies.
Till last 30th June.
I had my AF.
CD 1 tu dia kuar lite-lite je.
Masuk pagi CD 2, ai sakit pinggang and belakang bagai nak rak.
Berpeluh2 pagi tu.
So pegi lah clinic.
Igt period pain biasa.
Dr bagi MC 2 ari.
Masuk CD 4, after balik keja, sampai je rumah, ai terasa nak kencing.
So pegi la toilet.
Tetiba nampak something yg pelik sikit kat atas pad.
So ai pon telek la.
Igt kan blood cloth tp warna bukan darah hitam ketul2 tu.
Then ai beranikan diri utk belek and pegang2 that thing.
Pegang rasa mcm jelly.
Ai tried to pour water kat that thing.
Pastu nampak warna dia macam lite2 chocolate.
Dis time ai berani kan diri utk amik and pegang benda tu.
Bentuk dia macam ikan.
Atas macam bulat but bawah macam nak berekor sikit.
I mmg confirm that it was not blood cloth.
So terjerit2 la ai panggil my Shuben.
Dia mmg la tak tau langsung tu apa.
Then called my mom.
She also had no idea apa tu.
So we both decided utk simpan that thing dlm bekas and will bring it to gynae the next day utk confirmation.
Mlm tu mmg tak tenang idop ai.
Dok google on Fetus.
Then found one lebey kurang mcm apa yg ai simpan tu.
8 weeks size katanya.
Shuben macam biasa. Tenang je dia.
Tak puas ati lagi, ai contacted my gynae friend.
Wassap dia the pic.
He said it could be fetus or maybe my fibroid jgk.
Dia tak tgk sendiri so dia tak tau.
The next morning, (last Thursday) try to contact my gynae tp tak dpt nak buat appointment.
We both decided nak cari gynae nearby.
Came across Klinik Bersalin Muslimah dekat Tmn Samudra tu.
Berjaya jumpa gynae kat situ.
Bila tunjuk je that thing.
She confidently ckp it is fetus.
Told her this story, dia ckp most likely yg AF seblom cycle ni was implantation bleeding.
Mungkin sbb my fibroid ada, bleeding tu jd byk.
She measured the fetus and it was 4cm.
10 weeks katanya.
But when we both did some calculation, most likely its 8 weeks.
Ai tried to hold my tears masa kat clinic tu.
After settled je with 2 days of MC, masuk keta je mmg nangis.
My Shuben as usual take it positively walaupon ai tau dia sedih.
He said that, its a positive sign showing that ai can pregnant normal.
Without treatment.
I tried to take it positively also but being women, kejap2 mesti teringat punya.
But in other hand, ai bersyukur jgk lah knowing that ai am NORMAL.
And betapa besar kuasa Allah, dikurniakan ai nikmat pregnant tu tanpa ai tahu pon.
Ai got no morning sickness.
Takde rasa mual2 ke.
Nothing at all.
And today, I'm back in d office.
Menjawab segala soalan, sampai my CEO asked me to get some rest.
Tak tau macamana nak start tulis this entry.
Dgn keadaan hati yg masih sedih dan pilu.
Ai need the strength for all this.
Last Thursday, ai was confirmed by the doctor that I had miscarriaged!
The worst part, ai dont even know that i'm pregnant!!!!!!
Dr said the fetus size is around 10 weeks.
Ok meh flash back balik the story.
Last May, refer to this entry CD 2 and CD 5 ,
Then on CD 26, ai punye period dtg balik.
Ai thought it is absolutely normal sbb normal pon my cycle is around CD 28 or CD 29.
Tp period ni pendek sgt.
3 days.
But flow dia nak kata sikit tak sikit, byk tak byk.
So end up buat tak tau je la.
Then ai ng Shuben pon mmg tak terpk langsung psl TTC last month.
Memasing busykan diri bake cookies.
Till last 30th June.
I had my AF.
CD 1 tu dia kuar lite-lite je.
Masuk pagi CD 2, ai sakit pinggang and belakang bagai nak rak.
Berpeluh2 pagi tu.
So pegi lah clinic.
Igt period pain biasa.
Dr bagi MC 2 ari.
Masuk CD 4, after balik keja, sampai je rumah, ai terasa nak kencing.
So pegi la toilet.
Tetiba nampak something yg pelik sikit kat atas pad.
So ai pon telek la.
Igt kan blood cloth tp warna bukan darah hitam ketul2 tu.
Then ai beranikan diri utk belek and pegang2 that thing.
Pegang rasa mcm jelly.
Ai tried to pour water kat that thing.
Pastu nampak warna dia macam lite2 chocolate.
Dis time ai berani kan diri utk amik and pegang benda tu.
Bentuk dia macam ikan.
Atas macam bulat but bawah macam nak berekor sikit.
I mmg confirm that it was not blood cloth.
So terjerit2 la ai panggil my Shuben.
Dia mmg la tak tau langsung tu apa.
Then called my mom.
She also had no idea apa tu.
So we both decided utk simpan that thing dlm bekas and will bring it to gynae the next day utk confirmation.
Mlm tu mmg tak tenang idop ai.
Dok google on Fetus.
Then found one lebey kurang mcm apa yg ai simpan tu.
8 weeks size katanya.
Shuben macam biasa. Tenang je dia.
Tak puas ati lagi, ai contacted my gynae friend.
Wassap dia the pic.
He said it could be fetus or maybe my fibroid jgk.
Dia tak tgk sendiri so dia tak tau.
The next morning, (last Thursday) try to contact my gynae tp tak dpt nak buat appointment.
We both decided nak cari gynae nearby.
Came across Klinik Bersalin Muslimah dekat Tmn Samudra tu.
Berjaya jumpa gynae kat situ.
Bila tunjuk je that thing.
She confidently ckp it is fetus.
Told her this story, dia ckp most likely yg AF seblom cycle ni was implantation bleeding.
Mungkin sbb my fibroid ada, bleeding tu jd byk.
She measured the fetus and it was 4cm.
10 weeks katanya.
But when we both did some calculation, most likely its 8 weeks.
Ai tried to hold my tears masa kat clinic tu.
After settled je with 2 days of MC, masuk keta je mmg nangis.
My Shuben as usual take it positively walaupon ai tau dia sedih.
He said that, its a positive sign showing that ai can pregnant normal.
Without treatment.
I tried to take it positively also but being women, kejap2 mesti teringat punya.
But in other hand, ai bersyukur jgk lah knowing that ai am NORMAL.
And betapa besar kuasa Allah, dikurniakan ai nikmat pregnant tu tanpa ai tahu pon.
Ai got no morning sickness.
Takde rasa mual2 ke.
Nothing at all.
And today, I'm back in d office.
Menjawab segala soalan, sampai my CEO asked me to get some rest.
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